Pariahs
by EllieV
Summary: A reminder of a past trauma for Chloe Armstrong.


_Don't own SGU; don't want to. Except for Dr Rush._

**Pariahs  
By EllieV**

It was the water, of course.

She had asked to go because she wanted to be useful. Colonel Young had said yes but she could tell that Matt, at least, had his doubts. Greer had been as polite as ever but she could tell the rest of the marines and the scientists who were going didn't think she was up to it. Except for Dr Rush, of course. He'd take no notice of her at all. He barely spoke to anyone these days.

It had simply been a little cloudy. A slight breeze. Then it turned, suddenly ugly. The water dumped down without warning. She froze, her arms stiff by her sides, her hands clenched. She tried not to panic. The whimper she let out couldn't be heard above the sound of the rain but Matt noticed a few yards on that she wasn't following. He came back and shouted to be heard.

"Chloe?" He shook her slightly. "Greer says there's some shelter ahead."

She couldn't respond. If she opened her mouth it would be to scream. She tried to blink away the water but just like last time, there was too much of it. If she opened her mouth she would drown.

Lt Johansen sloshed back to them and said, "Chloe should go back to the ship." Her cap prevented the water from getting too much in her face; Chloe envied her. Matt protested that the shelter Greer had spotted was closer. TJ shook her head, the water flying everywhere. Chloe flinched away and TJ patted her arm. "I'll go with her," TJ said. She looked behind Chloe and said, "Dr Rush can take us."

"I can …" Matt said in objection.

"Dr Rush, will you help us back to Destiny?" TJ called. Matt made a sound of disgust that carried as the wind dropped for a second.

Chloe managed to turn. Rush was behind them standing in the rain, his shaggy hair plastered to his head. The wind had blown it across his face but he'd made no move to brush it away. He stood stiffly, as she had, his arms by his side. His hands weren't clenched; it was as though he'd tried to but couldn't. His hands were splayed, the fingers curled just slightly. His face, what she could see of it, was unreadable. His head moved a little, his neck it seemed, unable to bend enough to give a proper nod.

TJ pulled her arm and said, "Come on, Chloe, let's get you back to Destiny and into something dry."

Rush led them silently to the gate. He lifted the remote but stared at it as if he had forgotten what to do. TJ took it from his hands and said, the wind sending her words back to Chloe, "Why don't I do that?"

They stumbled through the gate and Chloe, free of the water, could start to breath again. No longer drowning.

TJ said, "Let's get you dry, Chloe." She turned. "You, too, Dr Rush."

He was already walking away, his head lowered, not looking at the few people in the gateroom. TJ watched him, her face hiding what she was feeling.

The showers, she could pretend at least, weren't really water and in the warm, comforting air she dried quickly. TJ was waiting for her with a change of clothes and although Chloe protested she was all right, took her along to the infirmary, calmly checking her over.

TJ paused before saying, "Would you like to talk about it?"

The last thing Chloe wanted to do was talk so she shook her head.

"You need to talk to someone, Chloe," TJ said gently.

"I don't want to talk to Matt," Chloe said, her voice rising.

"Okay, okay," TJ said. "Not Matt." Chloe could feel her worried gaze so she kept her eyes on her hands instead. "You know you can talk to me." Chloe nodded. "Even Colonel Young …"

Chloe said abruptly, "Thanks, TJ." She moderated her tone so she wouldn't sound ungrateful. "I might get some sleep."

Colonel Young was out of the question. He'd be sympathetic and kind but he wouldn't understand. Matt wouldn't understand either nor would Eli. Most of those on Destiny wouldn't understand because they hadn't been there. Everyone had been told, of course, that something had happened. Not what happened, just that something had. Their sympathy went no deeper than the surface. Not wanting to step outside their comfort zones. Not wanting to know.

She went looking for the only person who would understand—the only person who was just like her.

He wasn't in his usual places: the observation deck, the central console room. The chair room was locked and a guard stood outside. She went to his quarters and knocked. There was no answer. Her hand hesitated over the control and after a couple of minutes she pressed it before her brain said not to. The door slid open; it wasn't locked.

He wasn't there. The room was neat. His iPod was sitting in its dock; his glasses—fixed now—were on the bed next to his notebook. There was a pile of clothes, the ones he'd been wearing on the planet, stacked on the floor. Still wet. She resisted the urge to look through the room. He wasn't there so she left.

She found him in the one place she didn't expect. The shock was followed immediately by a spark of anger. She expected him to say sorry or something similar for being there or for what happened to her father but he didn't. He simply said very quietly, "I thought you might come here."

His face was blank but she could see the exhaustion and tension from holding everything behind his mask. He was wearing the desert fatigues they adopted for hotter planets and she realized they didn't fit him. He wasn't a big man to start with and he had become even gaunter since the water. He looked so tired. She sat next to him.

"It's the water," she whispered.

His hands were folded on his knees and he looked fixedly at them. All he did was nod.

"I'm so tired," she said close to tears. "I can't sleep most of the time but if I do I wake up and I can't breath because of the water. Like I'm drowning all the time."

His head turned just slightly to her and his fingers curled just as they had on the planet. She couldn't help herself. She took his hand.

After a moment, his fingers entwined with hers, dry and comforting.

_FINIS_


End file.
